The Frozen Turkey Stun Ray Made the Summer of 1970 Three Months of Shocking Leftovers

Last night, a startling revelation came to me in the form of a rabid seahorse. THEY HAVE RETURNED!

Wawa Testimonial #9285-U: "There are TOO MANY CHOICES!!!"---The Whamminess.
The sandwich-selectification contrivance chastised her for hesitating in her decision-making process, an irritated beep "Do You Want to Continue?"

TRAPPER KEEPERS, FRONT AND CENTER!! THE WHAMMINESS HAS UTTERED AN OFFICIAL PROCLAMATION REGARDING HER MOST IDEAL SANDWICH!! *Ahem* The Whamminess prefers
Honey Smoked Turkey, Tomato, Honey Mustard, Swiss Cheese on Rye. TOASTED!!

By the by, there is a giant meteorite headed towards this planet at devastating speed. It cannot be destroyed via military hardware; it must be EATEN. Gather the biggest mouths of humanity to save the world!! Carly Simon! Steven Tyler! Mick Jagger! Goldie Hawn! The singers from Buck Cherry and The Cult whose names i cannot recall! SAVE US, YOU ARE THE JAWS OF HOPE!

Someone from Ontario, Canada typed in ' "The Birdman" Koko B. Ware ' and found my blog. So i will now namedrop several other perhaps long-forgotten wrestling personalities to spark the same results: Greg "the Hammer" Valentine, Scott Casey, Baron Von Raschke, Colonel DeBeers, Gino Hernandez, "Mr. Usa" Tony Atlas, S.D. "Special Delivery" Jones, "Hollywood" John Tatum and Jack Victory, Tony Garea, The Fantastics (Tommy Rogers and Bobby Fulton), Hiroshi Hase, Dominic DeNucci, "Yukon" John Nord, Chris and Mark Youngblood, Chickie Starr, The Gambler, Jeff Gaylord, and "Red Rooster" Terry Taylor. Thank you very much!

See Jane Poison a Diva...Someone in Hollywood Owes the Whamminess a Lot of Money

Jane Fonda has returned to the silver screen. Who ordered this comeback? Surely, there are those absent from the cinematic scene more worthy of a high-profile rejuvenation: Joe Pesci, Christopher Lloyd, and Steve Buscemi are names that immediately pop into my grey matter. "Monster-in-Law" is a vitriolic escapade into the timeless animosity between bride-to-be and mother-in-law-to-be that features Barbarella and The Fly Girl J-Low engaged in a 100-minute tete-a-tete for the attention of the vapid catalog model who kissed Drew Barrymore on the pitcher's mound in "Never Been Kissed". The movie was a pounce on the memory banks as Fonda's unabashedly unlikeable uncharacter consistently provoked images from figures in my personal life. Not good. Didn't make the movie an altogether enjoyable experience. My wife (THE WHAMMINESS HAS HAD A CATHARSIS!! IT IS LIKE A SMOOTH CREAM RINSE OF COCONUT AND BERRIES!) had mixed feelings about the movie. i hate 90% of the movies that i see, anyway, so this wasn't an unusual scenario. More importantly, all of this hoopla for Fonda vs. Lopez is undue and Wanda Sykes' wise-crackin' sidekick character was cumbersome and derivative. BANG BANG!! i've seen worse...

sayonara, martian maneaters.