The Secret Ingredient is....ROBITUSSIN!!!!
A hush falls over the stunned crowd! An obese woman who has been sweating profusely through her paisley-patterned muumuu has swooned and collapsed! Juvenile delinquents weep uncontrollably and pontificate upon the horrors of everyday existence! Tonight's "Iron Chef" has taken a dramatic turn towards the unabashedly WUH-WUH-WACKY with the revelation of the secret ingredient...Robitussin!
Fondly, i recall the premiere episode of the mesmerizing phenomenon that is "Iron Chef". i was watching the program in the central Pennsylvanian lair of that infamous gang of cutthroats, the Pennsylvania Phi chapter of the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity. Oy, what a rowdy bunch of nincompoops...dangle a cold can of Meisterbrau in front of their noses and they will solve the riddles of the cosmos. The secret ingredient was meat (MEAT! how imaginative! "The secret ingredient is AIR!" "The secret ingredient is FRIENDSHIP!" "the secret ingredient is CORN....ON THE COB!!") and the dogs howled with approval. The hunger had been satisfied.
Often, this is entertainment. Occasionally, i can only furrow my brow and consider the amount of spackle that will be required to fill the newly-ruptured cranny on the hard-to-reach backside of humanity.
